wipesfaith | 04 [written/action]

[Classic incognito message, with the picture blocked out and everything; he even makes an attempt to disguise his handwriting, which he forgets after the first three words.]

Say you want to ask a girl out. How do you go about doing that?

Girls like flowers, right?

[See, there's actually a lot of consideration that goes into this. For a guy with a faulty brain-to-mouth filter and a do-or-die attitude, the amount of waffling here is...strange, maybe. But everyone's a walking contradiction. He has some ideas, along with maybe ten different speeches that he's mentally mapped out over the past three years and never planned on actually using, but second- and third-guessing himself leads to this pandering for advice...thing. He's pretty sure it's lame, but... It couldn't hurt, right?

Okay, so maybe he's just procrastinating.]

[Action]

[Anonymous dweebiness aside, Jean goes about his day as usual. Training at the Battle Dome; going to school; taking care of his horse at the stables, and taking him out for a ride into the woods; and checking the General Store for some...supplies, art supplies. Don't ask, don't tell.]

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The most important thing is confidence.

[ This handwriting is really fast looking and kind of atrocious. ]

[Even without his name and face attached, Jean is pretty mortified that the whole mess from before is just out there for anyone to read. Especially anyone he knows... He's beginning to regret the whole damn thing. Although, he did pick up at least a few tips that might actually be helpful.

He's still mulling it over when Petra snaps him out of his thoughts with her approach.]

Oh, uh...afternoon, Petra. [Then he glances down at the sketchpad he'd just picked up, and he shrugs in (badly) feigned indifference.] Haven't done it in a while. I just figured I might as well pick it up again, 'cause it's something to do.

...I don't see what surprise has to do with it. It's a date, not an attack.

How is giving flowers any more surprising, anyway? If you ask her or push a bunch of flowers in her face, she's instantly going to know.

Unless you're going to leave flowers around for her to find without knowing who they're from.

[The written word lacks Farlan's sarcastic tone.]

It is not my intention to make you uncomfortable. However, I have read various texts on the subject. Perhaps I can be of assistance.

[Decades? How old is this mouse anyway... Do mice even live that long?]

Ok ok I'm listening. [Well, reading. Paying attention.]

So what did you do?

So I should try to find one that reminds me of her.

You're sure this won't be overkill? [He has no idea what he's doing. Help.]

Well she was a princess, and I was her bodyguard. I managed to sneak her away and gave her a tour of her own kingdom, see how the common folk live. Romantic wagon ride, romantic boat ride, romantic stroll through the gardens... That's how you get the girl, by making sure it's just you and her!

[Ignoring the anonymous asshole... (The other anonymous asshole. He's not an asshole.) Because this jackass is enough to deal with. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with some people?]

I don't want her thinking I'm a pervert! Because I'm not.

How is that not gonna get taken the wrong way?

How should I know? It's never come up before.

I just want to do something nice for her.

Precisely.

Not at all. Just don't bombard her with poetry, like cologne a little goes a long way.

I'm sure your heart will go on. Near-far-wherever you are.

Listen, as long as she doesn't say 'thats the wrong hole' you are fine man. Don't worry about that stuff. I once was humping a mattress for like five minutes before she said anything, shit happens.

[He is trying to be helpful actually]

Perhaps you are correct. If you want an admiration confession, that could be more low-key. It could be as simple as giving her a thumbs up and saying 'Please go out with me! I'll protect you until I die!'

They should be in bloom for as long as there is love in the hearts of youth!

What qualifies as 'something nice' depends entirely on the girl in question. Different girls like different things.

[He doesn't usually go for senseless platitudes, but if she says three's a good number, then that's good enough for him.]

Hey, you're a girl. [Brilliant observation, here.] How do you feel about poetry? [It was an old dude who brought it up, so he wants to make sure the idea isn't outdated or anything.]

[Let's be real, Jean couldn't be a player if he tried, because he'd never get past tripping all over himself.]

Basically - don't be a creep or an asshole. [He's starting to wonder what kind of experiences you've had with this, Utena...]

Man, I'm getting more don'ts than do's.

How do you know if your timing is good or bad? [This is one of his biggest worries, that it's never gonna be the right time.]

[Maybe she'll tell you about Touga sometime. ...probably not, though.]

Can you cook? If you can, maybe you should try making her a lunch or something. A lot of girls do that for the boys at my school back home, but I don't see why it can't work the other way around.

[After all, Wakaba made her lunches... even if it's a little different.]

Edited 2014-05-20 06:56 (UTC)

I know, I know, I will.

I'm not gonna push it. [Because if he gets rejected by Mikasa, he'll be too embarrassed to ever bring it up with her again.] The last thing I want to do is make an ass of myself. More of an ass of myself, I mean.

[As Jeb gives him that stupidly encouraging smile, Jean's embarrassment is given away by his sideways glance and his cover-up scowl.]

I might as well, right? I've got time to kill here.

[Outside of regular military duties and schoolwork, he's picked up a few hobbies in the time he's been stuck here, but it could get dull following the same routine day after day. While he tends to lean toward the comfort of the familiar, it also doesn't hurt to mix things up a little. Just a little.]

Yeah but confidence isn't gonna help you if you don't have a plan. You'll end up dead.

[Wait, that didn't come out right.]

Of, you know, rejected.

[Don't worry, Krillin, he's not interested in wooing your lady.]

You've tried it before?

That's true, isn't it? [He doesn't seem bothered by Jean's behavior.] If you'd like, I could give you some pointers to help you with that.

Some people just have too much fun being idiots.

What good is just knowing about it from a book? You ever date a lady owl before?

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