[Reasons why he went anonymous: it halves the awkwardness of receiving dating advice from the girl he got his first kiss from. But half of a lot is still...well, enough.]

I'm not sucking up! I'm just trying to be nice.

What else counts as mushy stuff?

[As an afterthought, aside from the point:] Why the hell would I get her a dress? I'm not some weirdo who knows anything about women's clothing.