...I... well... I guess it felt like I... was making things worse somehow.
[He sighs. He's tried his best to go back to his usual self since returning, but that's too difficult a task at times. He did some horrible things on that draft. He knows he had to, he knows it was necessary in order to protect other people (because even when he was trying to survive, others had come first--he's not worth protecting above all else), but that doesn't make anything right. It doesn't make anything better.]
[action]
[He sighs. He's tried his best to go back to his usual self since returning, but that's too difficult a task at times. He did some horrible things on that draft. He knows he had to, he knows it was necessary in order to protect other people (because even when he was trying to survive, others had come first--he's not worth protecting above all else), but that doesn't make anything right. It doesn't make anything better.]
That's all. [No, it really isn't.]