wipesfaith | 03 [action/written] backdated to MONDAY 1/27

[When Jean wakes up on Monday, it is with the heavy sense that something is missing. (Isn't it strange, how lacking can weigh more than having?) The skipped days - going to bed on Friday night and waking up to Monday morning - aren't what hits him first; these, he won't notice until he open his journal to send a message that won't be read by its intended recipient for a while.

The bed on the other side of the room is empty.

He's the only one in their apartment. This doesn't fall too far outside the normal rhythm of the day, but it drags him back to a few months ago when things were knocked off balance and disappearing was Marco's favorite hobby. So he sends that message, raises an eyebrow at the date, and gets ready for the day while he waits for a response.

It doesn't come.]

[Action]

[In the morning, he scours the village, walking the length of every road and checking inside every public building. He tries not to think about the last time he'd walked through still streets unable to remember with any certainty when he'd last seen his friend.]

Marco? [Cupping a hand around his mouth.] Marco!

[At some point, he dimly realizes that school started a while ago, but that doesn't mean shit to him right now. Two options have long since sunk into his brain: Marco has either been kidnapped for experimentation, or he has gone home to hit a dead end. Still, through wanting to prolong the inevitable, through wanting to feel effective in some way, he doesn't drop his search. He takes it out of the village, winding through the woods on horseback.

When he finally returns, with nothing to show for his efforts but exhaustion, a tightened knot of anxiety in his stomach, and questions, evening has settled in. He opens his journal - still no response - and starts asking.]

[Written]

Does anybody know of any missing persons cases that happened over the weekend?

Is there anyone who can remember anything that happened between Friday night and this morning?

[Then, because he doesn't know how to lock messages to specific individuals, he adds:]

Commander Smith, Captain Levi. I need to speak with you. If you're in your quarters, I can come up shortly.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Not when you work for yourself.

[It would be different if she was an actual soldier. Soldiers going AWOL was frowned upon in all branches. But you were your own boss, the only thing you had to worry about was how you cut your ties or how you disappeared.

It was easy the first time, leaving peacefully with her intentions clear, ties intact.

Faking her death and disappearing two years later, now that was a bit harder.]

Something you have to know about me is I'm not a soldier. I think very differently, I fight very differently. But if we're in a fight together, I have your back. That I can assure you.

[A different set of rules. A different machine - no, a different beast, because it's damn impossible to shed every last layer of selfishness in order to be a machine.

But she isn't defined only be her preoccupation as a hunter any more than he's defined only by his role as a soldier. In the end, he nods.]

I don't doubt that. And I'll do my best to watch your back too, when the time comes.

[Sometimes Ginia wonders if it would be easier being a machine. She certainly knows people that are close to. But maybe feeling something is better than feeling nothing. It keeps her tethered and focused, on the right side of the line that divides hunters and monsters.]

I don't doubt that either, but remember there's a different set of enemies here. Will you be ready against them?

[Because here the enemies aren't titans, but much smaller, much more human-like.]

[Machines don't feel fear. But sometimes it's the right dose of fear that keeps you alive.]

I know... I train against simulations in the Battle Dome, but I can only hope that's good enough to prepare me for the real thing.

[It's what everyone hopes for, but things are different in the battlefield. She's seen good soldiers crack under pressure and the most unlikely people take up arms.]

If you ever want someone to spar against, let me know. I've been showing Levi and Erwin how to use weapons from my world, I could show you too.

[He wonders if he'll ever feel prepared enough when he steps onto the battlefield. But he manages to pull himself together enough for a convincing imitation of preparedness at least.]

Won't say no to that. I never showed you the 3D maneuver gear in action, either.

[In a perfect world, he would never have to know what it's like to step onto a battlefield, but there's no such thing as a perfect world.]

I'd be interested in seeing what you can do.

Likewise.

[He leans back in his seat, stretching his arms behind his head.]

...Thanks for showing me all that.

You're welcome. When Marco's back, if you two want to borrow my laptop to look at maps or watch movies, you guys are welcome to.