wipesfaith | 04 [written/action]

[Classic incognito message, with the picture blocked out and everything; he even makes an attempt to disguise his handwriting, which he forgets after the first three words.]

Say you want to ask a girl out. How do you go about doing that?

Girls like flowers, right?

[See, there's actually a lot of consideration that goes into this. For a guy with a faulty brain-to-mouth filter and a do-or-die attitude, the amount of waffling here is...strange, maybe. But everyone's a walking contradiction. He has some ideas, along with maybe ten different speeches that he's mentally mapped out over the past three years and never planned on actually using, but second- and third-guessing himself leads to this pandering for advice...thing. He's pretty sure it's lame, but... It couldn't hurt, right?

Okay, so maybe he's just procrastinating.]

[Action]

[Anonymous dweebiness aside, Jean goes about his day as usual. Training at the Battle Dome; going to school; taking care of his horse at the stables, and taking him out for a ride into the woods; and checking the General Store for some...supplies, art supplies. Don't ask, don't tell.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Harassment toward the girl, not the damn box, dumbass.

Uh huh. Either way, that is only if she disapproves of Step 3: Have her open that box.

I mean if your junk is really ugly or something, I could see that being a problem. Since we lack a legal court system here, not to mention any formalized rules, the worse you would have to deal with is having her think you were a pervert.

Sometimes you just got to roll a hard six.

I may be just a little bit in love with you, just now. Hopefully it will pass.

I'm sure your heart will go on. Near-far-wherever you are.

[Ignoring the anonymous asshole... (The other anonymous asshole. He's not an asshole.) Because this jackass is enough to deal with. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with some people?]

I don't want her thinking I'm a pervert! Because I'm not.

How is that not gonna get taken the wrong way?

Listen, as long as she doesn't say 'thats the wrong hole' you are fine man. Don't worry about that stuff. I once was humping a mattress for like five minutes before she said anything, shit happens.

[He is trying to be helpful actually]

I didn't need to know that.

Look, do you have any advice that isn't super creepy? I just want to take this girl on a nice date, not do anything weird. [Meaning anything involving junk and holes, dammit.]

[That wasn't super creepy, you have no idea what you are talking about]

Ah gotcha. You are still in V-town. Well that takes out the hole in the popcorn trick... I'd suggest just a movie then. Safe, easy, and if you play your cards right, cuddling and a bit of light petting.

[He ain't gonna ask what the V stands for, because he has a pretty good idea already and it isn't worth spilling ink over. Ditto for whatever the hole in the popcorn trick entails. But okay, potential cuddling and...petting. Sure. That sounds more up his alley.]

I heard scary movies are good for that.

That very much depends on the girl. Some won't even blink an eyelash at horror movies. You should do some recon and find out what her favourite movies are.

I don't think she's seen that many movies. [Or like. Any. Because they're not a thing back home.]

Alright, try the horror movies then. Some romantic comedies can work well too.

[Just don't let him know that virtually all romantic comedies contain heavily implied sex scenes that would be incredibly awkward to experience with the girl you like.]

Right. At least not all of your ideas are stupid.

My ideas are awesome. You are just too lame to implement them.

I'm not lame, I'm being respectful here.

That sounds like lame talk to me.

[He really shouldn't rise to the bait, but.]

Just how is that lame?

Aren't willing to take a chance, just getting huffy about things you don't know about.

I don't know why I have to defend myself for not wanting to sexually harass the girl I like. Or make a huge ass of myself.

If you want a girl chances are at some point you will need to make a huge ass out of yourself. Women appreciate well meaning stupidity.

No way that's true. [HE HAS TO BE COOL. LIKE. COOLER THAN COOL.]

Try it and you may I say, try it and you may.

The hell is that supposed to mean?

If you don't try it for yourself, how will you know if it will fail epically or turn out to be a huge boost? Try it and you may, I say.

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Deadpool references Dr. Seuss

oh Deadpool, you and your pop culture references

no subject